Dating is the risk youth avoid for getting the tag of ‘Good Character’

First of all, I would like to wish you all a Happy Valentines Day. How many of you celebrated Valentines Day openly and fearlessly in your adolescent age? (Not after you got married and had a license). I am not talking about celebrities or people from affluent communities born with silver and even platinum spoons.

Middle-Class India is a very vibrant community with a lot of virtues and pitfalls making it the most interesting community in the world to study. With deep roots in feudalism, it always opposes any kind of evolution in man-woman relationships which poses a threat to its steady existence. That’s the main reason we have NRIs settled in western countries for decades who still look for brides and grooms for their children from their communities who satisfy their standards. And that’s exactly the reason ‘Dating’- the concept keeps failing in feudal Indian society (mindset).

There are particularly 4 aspects to its failure and they can be explained as below.

1. There’s no time for productive and intellectual Indian youth

With all the time being in a race for success, everlasting hunger for money and fame, desperation for rising to the top by the time biological clock ticks 25, the so-called productive Indian youth is always behind the ‘chase for success. They are madly driven by a continuous self-developed compulsion to work (action) and have no time for any kind of life activities like enjoying nature, spending with family, or having a love story in their life. They are brought up like that and under the influence of their surroundings, they turn into achievement-machines but never realize that they ended up becoming boring spouses cum human beings.

Anyhow arranged marriages are invented for them and continuing because of their funding and investments in matrimony companies.

2. The youth is feared to make any experiments in the romantic aspect

To experiment and explore something to a certain degree, one has to take a risk, it’s a rule of Nature. In the middle-class community, they use social media, talk about high-end technology, work in global companies in highly modernized environments but when it comes to cultural evolution they are still a novice. The endorsement of stereotyped thinking is clear-cut in judging a person’s character based on his/her romantic relationships. In the name-callings of ‘slut’, ‘bitch’, ‘loose character’, womanizer, ‘promiscuous’, and ‘perverted’, the youth who sees and observes the repercussions faced by people who crossed the line, decide to get the titles of ‘good girl’ and ‘good boy’ by just being away from all risk and listening to what society says is the standard character.

But what’s the purpose of being born if you avoid all the risks in life. Being born is the biggest risk. If they were conscious in their mother’s womb, I am sure they would decide to not come out at all. Being alive and not living life is the biggest treachery one does for this world and Nature.

3. Even if the mind forgets Ex, the body remembers it

There’s a line I have written for Insurgent Minds’ Instagram handle. It goes like this- ‘IT’S NOT MIND THAT REMEMBERS YOUR EX…IT’S YOUR BODY THAT CANNOT FORGET’

Youth, especially girls (because boys get excited more and girls think more) often take a decision based on the consequences they have to face. Apart from the external consequences like reputation, name-calling, societal judgement, and matrimony prospects, there are also internal aspects out of which the biggest and most important is ‘Memory.

Maya Angelou once said in her most famous quote that ‘People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.’ It also applies to a romantic couple. You might be a strong-minded person who could move on from a relationship but how your partner smells after the makeout in bed is what you can never get out of your head. You can never get it out of your head because it’s not in the head, it’s in the body. Your body remembers how your partner kisses, how he/she cuddles, how they breathe, their sweat and sweet smells…how their eyes look at you, how their hands approach you, how their legs crawl upon you…and everything personal that has happened.

It’s impossible to forget that. Trying to forget only intensifies the memories which is the mistake many amateur love failures do. Because of this fear, girls avoid getting into such deep intimate relationships. I said ‘girls’ because the majority of boys will have time to slowly forget.. girls won’t have the time because they will be rushed into marriage by their loving parents, siblings, and relatives…and also their pet dogs.

4. Lack of concentration and sense of humour

Life is not about mind, thoughts, and accomplishments, life is eventually about your body. A dog, a fox, a snake, a snail, a cockroach, a lion, a pig, and a human being- all are life forms, no special difference from Nature’s perspective. The only problem is humans think they have brains and intelligence. Brain is the side effect of Nature’s evolution and intelligence is one dimension to it.

Being self-occupied with your own thoughts and emotions makes you live in your own mind desolating you from the real world. One and only thing humans need is ‘concentration’ towards life and observing everything keenly…not just as a job but as a natural instinct. Because that’s one of the primary characteristics of any animal after protecting its body. It’s the way any animal builds its intelligence, by observing Nature keenly, don’t forget you are also an animal…just a little fashionable. In this context, I mean to say, only when you keenly observe this society…you will ever know how to get what you want and get away with it cleverly without getting into troubles.

Last words…

Don’t think I forgot about the sense of humour…

If you are a thinker…remember this. How much ever you try to tell people what they should do, they will do what they want to do because there are 2 problems.

1. Either you are wrong, wrong for them, or wrong for the timing, and you don’t know that and clutching your fists.
2. They understood what you said but pretend to be not because they have their own compulsions, problems, and imprisoned lives.

So just relax a bit and have fun in looking at this society which is what I do all the time without break. Indian middle-class society is the most entertaining non-stop cinema that will never bore me and I will make many movies and blog posts on the same.