Sex before marriage is not the point. The main point is the depth of intimacy.

From childhood, you have been poured with stories of either strictly monogamous people like Rama or people with multiple romantic partners like Krishna, who in the modern world, are given the names of playboy, cupid, an Alpha etc. But what’s the right path to choose has been debatable for centuries for no size fits all.

For a typical Indian boy hailing from middle-class, there would be a very limited number of choices to get a girl in life and the peer pressure of proving his sanity of character is always there. So most of them resign their expedition of searcing their girlfriend and shift their brain activity towards studies, job-search, friends, movies, and socially-safe activities. The other types of boys from any financial background take it very seriously to impress and get the girl they liked and of course that happens multiple times…

They are super clear about their goals, targets, and consequences. They get all the wrong attention but that works in their favour for impressing the girls (because they stand out from the crowd in some way). But the actual question is – What about the people who are inspired by both these sections of boys and entered unconsciously into the dilemma of whether to be distant from girls and relationships or to try their hands at it to get their own share of experience?

The dilemma comes as they can’t afford to risk for many factors are involved such as money, low self-esteem, family honour in the society, fear of getting beaten, and the undeniable drama that happens in relationships. Both the philosophies of ‘Everything after marriage’ and ‘Life is all before marriage’ have their own set of pros and cons and my word for a confused guy is as follows

1. Relationship seeker should exactly know what he wants from that. It’s not like an orange that you extract the pulp and throw the peel away. The consequences are never escapable. So it’s better to face the consequences you are willing to face (That only happens when you have crystal clear clarity).
2. Sex before marriage is not the point. The main point is the depth of intimacy. When you have casual relationships, it’s impossible for you to experience emotion, attachment, or sexual pleasure to the depth of it.
3. Casual sex is like one more event in life. You see how the school will be, you will see how college life will be, you how beer or cigar will tatse, and like that you will see how sex feels like. More gung-ho is attached to it because of your friends around you who are sex-starved.
4. Only with a long-lasting partner, you can see the depth of emotion, love, intimacy, desire, and sexual pleasure. It’s like this. You study 6 subjects in your X standard but you are not expert in any one. But if you do PhD in your favourite subject, that satisfaction is different.
5. Indian women are not as promiscuous as western women. They will stick to their husbands for life even if they are a little good and caring towards them. So have that advantage of women’s values, character, and commitment. If you reciprocate enough love towards an honest woman, life will be on another level of ecstasy.
6. But do all your experiments before marriage. Don’t rush into proving your character to yourself and then look into your neighbour’s windows after your marriage. If you can’t commit to one girl and that’s not your character, marrying a woman will be a regret for both of you.

All I can tell is, you have to explore your type and find a wise strategy for it. Character is a myth. Many good people with character are suffering immensely out there. Honesty is the only virtue that builds your life. Tell your truth to your partner and you will have a joyful ride.

Rama and Krishna both are Gods and you can become your own version by taking principles from both. They are both romantic in their own honest ways.