The generation doesn’t want to financially struggle like their previous one

The trend of love marriages has drastically come down in India post-2010 except for a few media sensations here and there about honour killings, love jihad, etc but they don’t reflect the mainstream society. The fact, as per data, is that ‘love marriages’ have moved out of the reality spectrum for the common public.

This post entails my theory and analysis for why the love marriage trend has fallen in the country as a paradox when globalization is increasing day by day.

It all started in 1991 with PV.Narasimha Rao

the root reason for this whole paradigm shift in Indian culture happened on 24 July 1991. It was the day when Manmohan Singh, as Indian Finance minister read out the ultra-radical budget in the parliament which opened the gates for India to transform into a liberalized economy from bureaucratic socialism. that decision was made to combat the falling amount of foreign reserves but it gave a ripple effect to Indian middle-class culture.

People from the suburbs tasted huge money for the first time

As an effect of liberalization, the IT revolution across the globe reached India and many fresh graduates were absorbed into MNCs for very high packages to satisfy the manpower needs of flooding inflow of projects. 

As a result, people who saw their father’s income reach 20,000 in 20 years were recruited with a starting salary of 25,000 or 30,000. They soon saw a lavish life that included luxury shopping, sophisticated lifestyle, Cars with EMIs, western food chains (Pizzas and Burgers started at that time) and active nightlife (Pubs and Dance bars)

With this sudden economic freedom, men and women started moving freely in the urban areas they worked. There is no parents’ control or surveillance of known people which made it a fertile ground for free romantic pursuits.

The adjacent younger generation got inspired and excited to adventure. 

Along the same time, the Indian movies in every local language were endorsing and advocating teenage love stories with a roaring appeal with an added effect of eloping. That caught on to the nerves of the teenagers with a massive romantic zest. Then started the trend of students eloping in their 12th standards mid-graduation times and friends supporting them in the process and famous organizations like Arya Samaj assisted them in registering their marriage and guiding them in legal issues.

Financial Disaster of those couples gave a rude shock to preceding teenage-generation 

When the initial sensational phase of revolting against the parents and society around them followed by a lovey-dovey phase, they started getting the effects of harsh reality. Their love is strong, their commitment is commendable, and their bondage is pure but the only thing which shattered them down is economy.

As they eloped in their nascent ages without even getting a basic educational qualification, they had to do odd jobs which are severely underpaid and which are out of their world when they were students. Their living conditions traumatized them to a point of suicide added with death threats from enraged parents, relatives, and other community representatives.

Only a minority of the above couples crossed the bridge of extreme difficulty and struggle to live a stable life and for others, the bridge was either broken or they vanished even before they reached the bridge. Both male and female partners suffered immensely but it was much harder for females to survive because of constant downfall in money, security, basic privacy, and dignity.

At a later phase, shocks happened to male partners with a sudden change of female spouse’s response

In a lateral development, when a man and woman, rather say, a girl and boy eloped, the settlements happened in police stations after police found the whereabouts of the couple.

The bride’s family members used to do a lot of sweet-talking saying they realized their mistake and they want to take their daughter home for delivery (in cases where the female is pregnant, most probable in many cases). The boy used to agree for this thinking this would alleviate her wife’s pain of missing her family from a long-time.

After she entered the home, they brainwashed her with terrifying theories, illustrations, and future predictions and the girl would be psyched up. Psyched up to an unimaginable level that she wouldn’t respond to the partner’s calls, messages, or attempts to see her. The family members would obstruct him, throw him out, and even beat him up if he argues to meet her. In many such cases, when the male partner approached for help and the police called the girl’ family to the station, the female partners gave a statement that the male partner kidnapped them and marriage was a forced one. Then the police would start their action in 3rd-degree style.

There are many such blown away men broken down abruptly and lost everything. The media won’t cover such episodes because a man’s breakdown is not a spicy material to encash.

In the next generation which entered teenage after 2010, they have clarity of convenience

This is the generation which reinvented ‘love’ for their convenience and to suit their realities. They decided to experience all the aspects of teenage attraction, emotion, infatuation subtracting the pain, drama, and struggle that come with those things.

Boys and girls who are involved in romantic relationships lied to each other more openly and deliberately fully aware that they are lying to each other. They declared themselves as committed partners who are going to marry after 8, 10, or 12 years but both of them know how short-lived it will be.

The boy lied to easily get sex from the girl he is with and the girl lived the lie to avoid character assassination. Directly saying their needs and making a deal is the ideal phase which has not yet arrived for them.

Instead of falling into emotion, they made clever arrangements

Now the existing arrangement looks like this. They experience the relationship for however long possible and in case of marriage, they don’t want to take a risk. they marry the lucrative prospect in all the choices they got and their biggest driving force is ‘We don’t want to suffer financially like my sister/aunt/neighbour who opted for love marriage (intercase or inter-religious)

In the case of men, the rich need no analysis, because, at any time in history, the rich will get away with what they want. It’s the upper-middle-class and middle-class who hanker on to outdated things in a dilemma. A recent survey stated that Indian men are still conservative-minded and have sex only after marriage. Marriage is a big thing for such men. For others, they know some ways how to get things without bringing the aspect of marriage into the picture.

Men under a certain income are out of consideration for women

Women anyhow don’t consider men under a certain income even for a casual date. Considering marriage is out of the question. Same applies to women now in these times globalization and increasingly fast-paced capitalist economy. Men who earn above a threshold don’t consider women from the lower spectrum of the workforce. Marriage is strongly tied to the financial capacity of the parties involved, unlike the preceding teenager sect which prioritized emotion over the economy.

Our system is an illegitimate child of feudalism and capitalism. Now it’s phase is convenient capitalism

In such a scenario of convenient capitalism where people have money because they own lands inherited from ancestors and protected them tightly, the same people got into the IT sector and businesses to retain the financial position. If an average man or woman wants to find a way, it’s impossible if they try their chances in the existing system because it’s designed to fail them however they try.

When the system is so strong and always closes gates, one has to create a radical path and walk into it instead of trying to open the big locked gates of a feudal fort. When Capitalism sweeps over the country, all the pseudo success falls down which lacks novelty, innovation, and individualism.

So if you are looking for a way, don’t wait for it. Create it.

I want to end it with my most favourite line of Bruce Lee

“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”